ADVICE FOR THE PUSSY SMASHING KIND

“I’m single, good looking, nice body. Still, my pussy smashing rate’s very low. I’d love to improve it.Any suggestions?” Benton, 25

My dearest millennial psychopath,

if you have the urge to smash a pussy, I strongly suggest you talk to a professional.

With the help of a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist, you’ll be able to get to the roots of your compulsion to destroy the manifestation of beauty with your abusive language.

I hope that someday you’ll be able to give all pussies the love and respect they deserve.

Power to the Pussy!
Felipe

Our columnist Felipe is a tomcat in his prime whose elegance, looks and sophistication made him an international success – as a model, muse and life coach. Born on the island of Majorca, this prolific feline works as the brand ambassador of Magnet Verlag publishing house and is designing his first jewelry collection. As of recently, Felipe has taken a sabbatical to do charitable work. For The Curvy magazine, he answers user questions from all fields of life.

Would you like Felipe’s advice or do you just wish to compliment him? Email to
felipe@thecurvymagazine.com
(If you wish, we keep your question anonymous.)

Text: Sabine Magnet
Illustration: Tanja Hirschfeld
Animation: Jochen Hirschfeld