Some women make it everywhere. And get always what they want. Although they are not as pretty, clever or cute as you. But how? Easy to answer: they don’t care. It is not about doing something special but about stop doing certain things…
1.Being forced to sex
He wants to get spanked? And before that you should. dressed up as a police woman, follow him in the swinger club. If you think your lover needs some serious spanks on his ass, go for it. But if you honestly think that this is totally ridiculous, you might get a sexual favour from him anyways. Do what makes you happy. But never ever let yourself get forced to something. Set your limits and talk about your worries. Try to find a solution for you both. And dont let yourself get exploited. Be an equal partner, in bed and elsewhere.
2. Begging for attention
Is it the third saturday in a row that your boyfriend spends in the arena with his friends? Don’t be sad and beg for attention. You can only achieve intimate togetherness if both of you want it. If you really want it, then stop complaining. Better: do it the same way as he does and tell him, already a few days in advance, about your exciting weekend plans. Try out the new club with your girls and please, come back home after him, or at least pretend to. Make your friends send you some texts and read them out with a little laughter but no further comments. If he hasn’t got jealous or showed any interest by now, leave him!
3. Faking an orgasm
Sometimes we simply aren’t in the mood or loose it. To still show him your affection and to prove that he ist he greatest lover alive, even, to simply finish it, we sometimes fake an orgasm. And that’s it. Seriously? This isn’t right. Take it easy and laugh about it or explain it to him. Even men sometimes can’t have sex and by the way, sex can even be great without the big finale. It only becomes a problem if you never reach an orgasm or your partner simply behaves like an idiot. In both cases an appointment with your gyn would be the only solution. But please don’t try to act like an embarrassing Hollywood star in your bed room.
4. Behaving like a little girlie
Tinkling with big eyes and he does whatever you want? Your voice turning high pitch and he gets instantly willing? A lot of women tend to behave more „stupid“, cute and childish because they think all men would immediately turn on their protector instincts. This is not only dumb but also in the long-term pretty unclever because at some point he won’t take you serious anymore. In the end he will make all the really important decisions on his own. If you really want that he helps you with changing your car tires or carrying the heavy water bottles, then simply ask him. Men are naturally better in doing certain things but of course it is also the other way round. Be confident of your skills and don’t behave like a little girlie if you just need a bit of help.
5. Being bitchy
Your new colleague has a smaller waist and even the Louboutins look much better on her tiny ankles than on yours. So now you have to show her obviously that you have a much better relationsship with your boss. What a bullsh**. Why do women have so much more problems with women but not with male bosses or colleagues? Men don’t care at all about their new colleague’s voluminous hair or his sixpack. They network eagerly and can separate their private sympathies or antipathies easily from their professional life. They don’t behave like intriguant competitors but rather think about how they can help each other to reach the higher position. This is how we should do it.
6. Never approach the guy first
You really like this cute guy on the dance floor and he even smiled at you twice. Why don’t you simply reach out and talk to him? You can at least think of half a dozen reasons: He could think that you are easy to get, you have to talk to other men, maybe he hasn’t smiled at you but at your friend, what will others think…Women always imagine what could go wrong but not that the guy might be shy himself and you so miss your Mr. Dreamy because of too much negative thoughts. Please be a bit more emancipated! Worst case: he says no with a friendly smile. So what? Men experience such behaviour much more often and still keep trying!
7. Be unforgiving
Everyone knows the famous story oft he half-full or half-empty glass. Some people always are unforgiving and rather stay at home to avoid talking about a certain topic. For them life is rather hall-empty. But isn’t life not already complicated and unfair enough? Do you really have to voluntarily make life harder by being in a bad mood and show all others how unforgiving you are? Powerful women show strength and don’t take every conflict too serious. They know who they are and can solve problems directly or in some cases simply accept that you can’t win always. That’s life and the next time you experience a bad situation, think of that!
8. Bitching about others
“Air kiss, it was so nice meeting you again!“ Oh, great that she is leaving. Hopefully everyone saw how stupid she looks with her new hair cut that you yourself praised a minute ago. What the hell?? Sometimes bitching about others can be kind of healthy but please don’t exaggerate. Because 1. it is mean and false and 2. at some point everyone will know that you are scandalmonger and possibly anyone can be on your target. No one will take your compliments for serious and of course no one will tell you a secret anymore. You don’t have to talk bad about your friend’s new dress – because in the long term polite honesty is what really counts. Then others know that you care and trust in your opinion.
9. Fear of missing out
Some people love to attend every party and their social media channels demonstrate their hot and up-to-date life. You feel less popular and think your life is boring? Honestly: laying down on your cozy couch while watching your favourite TV series makes you probably much happier than attending this boring vernissage. And you don’t like these posh people who only talk about their great selves anyways. So why would you want them to like you? Don’t lie to yourself and stand up for your likes and dislikes. So you prove much more strength than your „Insta friends“ who fall into their bed completely exhausted and maybe much more lonely than you.
10. Fear of giving up control in your love life
For sure you are looking for the one and only love but how can you hide your cellulitis best and how often would you need to get up during night to conceal your eye shadows? Some women – and yes, less than men –want to show themselves at their best, which at some point gets pretty exhausting. No sponatenous skinny dipping during night time, and of course no relaxed sex in the morning. Because that’s when the sun shines quite unfavourably through your window. Surprise: Men like it when a woman simply accept her curves, her out-of-bed make-up and her hanging boobs because it’s good how it is. A person who always pretends to be someone else and arouses attention because of behaving ashamed can only lose. Only a woman who loves herself can relax and love others. That’s how it works.
Translation: Danielle De Bie